You won't find it on any official store-bought calendar, but we are clearly in the middle of boat show season. Throughout the country there is at least one boat show going on every weekend with some local venues close to you and other major shows worth a road trip just to attend.
After looking at all the new models, it's safe to wager that everyone thinks they could use a pontoon or deck boat. But just how badly do they actually need one? This can be a difficult question to answer that requires some serious thought and meditation. Lucky for you, this month might just be the best time for you to gauge your own specific situation with our pop quiz.
Now I’ve never been one to shy away from a “just for fun” top 10 list, so I’ve compiled a few quick notes to help you determine just how dire your situation really is. If you or anyone you love has experienced any one of these scenarios, run—don’t walk—to your nearest boat show while you still can.
In true Jeff Foxworthy format, your family desperately needs a boat…
10. if you’ve ever caught your teenager wearing a full wetsuit while strapped to a wakeboard… in the bathtub. It may be time to take the hint that your kids are trying to tell you something.
9. if the neighbors’ dog chasing your truck doesn’t bother you because you feel a little guilty that your toddler is always chasing your neighbor's boat.
8. if you have a tow rope and an insanely huge inflatable “toy” tied to your truck’s trailer hitch thinking it’s the same as being on the water. C’mon, your kids deserve better.
7. if your children actually prefer wearing their life jackets on the slip’n slide, at the drinking fountain, and even when it rains.
6. if your son has ever asked for dual helm chairs for his room to help him study, complete with flip-up bolsters for when he needs to stand for a moment.
5. if your kids have ever been kicked out of the local swimming pool for trying to water-ski.
4. if your basement is often flooded…on purpose!
3. if you fasten boat fenders to your car doors before pulling into the garage or your parking space at work.
2. if the sign on your den door reads, “No Wake Zone!”
1. or if every time one of your kids falls down they are immediately surrounded by family members holding up orange flags.
Remember, these are just some of the early signs but there are plenty of other indications that your family has waited long enough and now is the time to get that pontoon or deck boat you’ve been dreaming of.
